I did not watch the video of ex-police officer Chauvin killing George Floyd until Friday evening. I didn’t do this because I want to live in a fantasy world. I did it because I knew I had to be especially strong and ready to watch it. I was still reeling about the Chris Cooper Central Park situation.

As an African I have seen the realities of what it feels like to be comfortable in a country and the inverse. When I’m home I know I belong and that my skin color and mere presence isn’t a weapon. I’m black in a black Country. When I’m in America I am aware that my language, gestures, look and any movement can be used to justify brute force and to assault me without cause. When I’m in white spaces I have to make sure that I am on my best behavior because I might be the only black person that they’ve ever interacted with in their life. I want to show them that black people can be non-threatening, fun, interesting and…….HUMAN. It’s a huge burden to carry all the time. It’s impossible to take this dark skin off and give yourself a mental health break. It’s hard to really breathe in.

All black families know about the special talk you have to have with your children about the police. I recently asked my non-black friends the language they use when explaining police interactions with their children. Most have never even thought about it or felt necessary! I worry about what this is doing to our children's mental health. The black community has been affected by Covid19 disproportionally, we have systems in place that literally block our upward movement and now our children have to deal with these images of people being killed by police officers while calling out to their deceased mom. That moment literally broke me. It’s just too much. It was already too much and now it is UNBEARABLE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I’m going to briefly address the comments about the looters. Ummm, whatever. Someone online wrote something along the lines of…”The worst looting I’ve seen recently is when corporations received $500 billion dollars in stimulus money and everyone else received $1200. They had to decide between rent and food”. People need to be given space to express their anger, frustration, fear, and sadness. When that doesn’t happen things can escalate quickly. We’ve also have seen that a lot of people looting are not there for the right reasons.

Please check on your black friends, family members, coworkers, etc. WE ARE NOT OKAY. We are traumatized, scared, angry and we want to be heard. Mr. Rogers famously said, “Look for the helpers you will always find people who are helping”. Thank you to all those that are standing up against injustice, police brutality, and unfair practices that are meant to continue to hurt and oppress minorities. We need you to continue to engage, ask questions, and be part of the solution. Silence is no longer an option.

White women protecting black protesters in Louisville.

in the words of Terrence Floyd left-hand peace and right-hand justice. Below are some resources and ways for you to help. Another way to help is to vote. Make sure you vote for people who are fair, just, and care about all people and not just corporations.